Nightgamin’ at the Lion and ABC

Pushed through some boundaries last night.

I headed out with julianwithana for some nightgame last night. We met at the clock, and I immediately spotted this tasty looking Asian chick (to rate her, about an 8, but she’s my type so I’m giving her a 9). I point her out, but she’s meeting a dude, so she’s filed away as ‘another girl I would love to bang’. We head out for some street game to warm up, which I find a bit hard cos I’m not feeling high energy. But julianwithana pushes me a bit, and does some nice sets himself – thank bud.

It starts raining so we roll up into ABC (having a chat with one of the MC security guards on the way – its good to know those guys!). Once in, I open this Aussie girl, and she hooks pretty easily. She’s on her way out, seems to have had a night out with ‘the IT crowd’ from work, and finds them decidedly less than fun. I shoulda told her to come hang with us, but she wasn’t all that. Its pretty dead in ABC to be fair. I talk to some dude from London – just trying to be social and establish some proof, to build my confidence up for when/if I solo nightgame. He’s big and well dressed, the popular, successful type. I tell him I HATE London (true), and he starts to think I’m ok. I’m finding the more I rag on these dudes, the more they accept me (I guess its an alpha male thing, kind of like being outcome independent with chicks).

I seem to get the come on from this Colombian chick, but I eject after a couple of minutes, kinda feeling that I’m getting blown out. I still treat nightgame sets like daygame, and it has its flaws. I’d love to be louder, higher energy, more spontaneous and less logical. Well there’s not a whole lot going on in ABC, so we head across to the lion, where shit improves.

I roll around, mainly talking to dudes, to establish some ‘friends’. Metalheads, bogans (yeah its really that sort of venue). They’re all drunk, and easy to meet. Fuck, dudes are coming up to me and highfiving me, later on someone buys me a beer. One bloke is pretty cool, as usual I rag on him, and he likes it. Then there’s a moment in the conversation which I’ll record cos I think its gonna be good to remember.

Dude: The ratio here is shit man, too many dudes.

Odin: Then talk to the girls behind you (two set)

Dude: Fuck off man, you’re taller, you do it.

Odin: Ok (surely the easiest way to get a guy on your side is to open some girls he’s too scared too. He’ll be impressed. Then bring him into set, and he’ll love you for it).

At least that’s what I wanted to happen. In reality, its this:

I go over to girls, some other drunk dancing dude knocks into me, I trip and hit the two set, they don’t seem impressed with me. Lol.

I start trying to open more sets on the dancefloor, but I’m a bit shit, not really doing it properly. So walking around the bar, who do I see but that Asian chick from the start of the night. She’s with the guy we saw her with earlier, and another girl – just sitting at a table. I’d really like this girl, maybe a bit too much, cos I let it get to me.

I tell Julianwithana she’s here, and when she stands up, with her friends still sitting down, it seems like a pretty easy open. It is. I stand so it seems like I’m talking to the whole group, but I’m next to target, and since its loud only she can hear me. Faux-isolation. Cool. Don’t remember the opener, it was probably Hello. Then some light teasing.

Odin: Where you from?

Her: China

Odin: Bullshit, you’re so Japanese. [she laughs] How come you’re not dancing? [She looks down] Come on lets go, [grab her hand and take her to the dancefloor].

Music is ultra gay, but pretty quickly she’s grinding on me, and we’re making out. When I saw her at the start of the night, I did not expect that! What I love about game is I get (chances with) the girls I want, not the girls that would have me.

There’s no happy ending (for me), she goes off after a while, then I see her with some Asian dude. Julianwithana and I discuss amoging tactics, but in the end not really bothered enough to try.

Fun night. Learning points:

  • Warm up with street game is essential for me
  • I had precisely half a beer all night (this is big for me, I used to be very dependent on booze when going out) which was when a random bought it for me.
  • I see how I can pull off solo-nightgame. I feel like it just over the horizon. I was such a quiet guy, that I could never imagine doing owning a club solo and sober. But I see how it works… open dudes, open girls, have fun, be social.
  • My nightgame is highly variable. I get put off easily… I need still need to do my best to stack the odds in my favour.
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Date report

Went out with the second girl from this post

Firstly, to get it out of the way, she’d changed her hair. It was the hair that was the initial attractor for me, so a bit disappointing. Still, she’s very hot (about a 9), so I’m going to write up a report, for analysis. 

Over txt, she’s very nice, easy going. I keep it simple, cos I tend to fuck it up when I try to get too much out of txt. She’s putting a lot of effort into the messages, obviously invested. We go for a coffee, and then over to a bar for a ‘drink’ (like lemonade). She’s half an hour late, but apologetic, so I put it down to incompetence, not shit-testing. Still I make her wait at our meeting point, partially cos I run into marshall on the way over. A bit of attraction/banter and we head over to the cafe. 

She’s very talkative, and asks me a lot of questions. Good. I’m happy to let her talk, I guess the person doing the most talking is lower value? My attraction spikes don’t seem to hit that well, so I give up on them rather than make things awkward. She’s kinda serious, and I just rolled with that frame. Which I’m not really happy about, I’d rather be able to set my own frame as I pleased. I also get the feeling she works long hours, and doesn’t get out a whole lot. She doesn’t like bars, and I guess is a way inexperienced with guys compared to anyone else of her hotness (seriously, these sorts of girls must love daygamers… they just wouldn’t meet guys bar their social circle otherwise). 

Coffee’s over and she readily accepts bouncing to a bar. OK, good. In there, I start trying to head into deep rapport. My attraction spikes really aren’t working that well, so I’ve given up on them. We’re talking psychology and economics, and I’m worried that I came over as ‘nice intellectual guy’, rather than ‘dominant guy with some brains’ as I’d prefer. But we’re holding hands, and we kiss a couple of times. She doesn’t reject it, but also isn’t that into it. I don’t know what to make of it… its like she’s tolerating it, but hasn’t made up her mind about me yet. Is this because she’s so hot and doesn’t get won over as quickly as other girls… I don’t know. To be fair, I’m not as into her as I’d hoped either. I’d still like the lay though. 

We spend about 5 hrs together before I call it a night. At both venues she takes her time, doesn’t check her phone at all, and is really surprised by how late it is. Does this mean she’s enjoying herself? 

Finally, we walk out to the tram stops. At this point, she gives me a mild shit-test and I fuck up; the mild ones are always harder for me to spot. It goes like this.

Me: blabbering on about op shopping

Her: Don’t you think its weird to wear other people’s clothes. 

Me: No, because this, this and this (logical answer)

So I’ve entered her frame. And this was in the last few minutes of the date. I’m guessing the test was to decide whether to see me again, and I reckon coming so late in the day, that it’ll leave an impression with her. 

So the date is very 50/50. Its pointless to second guess all this shit, but will she see me again? My guess is probably not. Game plan is to wait a few days, then neg over txt. 

My girls

To be maintained:

Over the last 6 months, I must’ve hit on well over five hundred girls. One of the upsides to this (yes, besides the regular poon) is I’ve narrowed down the type of girls I go for from ‘hot ones’ to those meeting a specific set of criteria. Generally I know em when I see em, but its useful to write it down; to take that criteria from out of my subconscious and place it on firmer ground. Note, some of these are purely physical, some personality-related, and others are a mix. I’m a firm believer in the manifestation of personality through physical characteristics. The man who is clean-shaven or has neatly trimmed facial hair likely has a more ordered life than the man who has an unruly beard, and so on.

Lets get started.

THINGS I LIKE

Personality

  • Bubbly
  • Thoughtful and inquisitve
  • Introverted/shy/reserved – to some extent
  • Playful and smiling

Physical features

  • Long hair, particularly when huge and curly like this (or this or this)
  • A slim neck, and small jawline
  • Dark features (hair, eyes, skin)… really anything exotic looking
  • Leggy
  • A nice ass is a nice ass
  • Big eyes
  • Not that bothered about rack. Any height is fine.

Clothing

  • Well dressed (I’m well aware of this being variable, and I’ll approach a hottie in her gym gear, but I appreciate it when girls put the effort in… no frankston skanks in ugg boots for me)
  • Long, flowing dresses
  • Split skirts
  • Girly trinkets – flowery spring scarves, cute hats, etc
  • Anything that shows personality… a 1940s film noir style, ethnic clothes, she looks unique, etc
  • Anything that accentuates her legs

Misc

  • Feminine body language – this, not this
  • Passionate and interested (in terms of lifestyle/hobbies)
  • Some level of sophistication
  • I could introduce her to my gran
  • Ethnicity: Asian, Eurasian, Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, Indian, South American… anything dark (by which I do not mean black)

SHOO

  • Loud or overly talkative
  • Attention seeking
  • Look at me clothes (those shirts with slogans)
  • An obsession with labels and status
  • Dumb (by which I mean girls who make a point of watching Big Brother… sadly most of them)
  • Domineering

EXAMPLES

Cos we all like photos of hot ladies

asian-style-grace-stylish-girl-800x1280

Long dark hair, lovely legs, big eyes, stylish shoes and blouse with down to earth jeans, overall i suspect she’d have a nice personality

WHITE

Solid ass, great curly hair, dark exotic features (could be Italian), knows how to dress. If I had to guess she’d be a little too attention seeking for me (note she’s sticking her chest out, posting photos of herself online, wearing provocative clothes during the day), but it wouldn’t stop me approaching to find out.

The Italian Teacher – Part III

Part I and Part II here.

To finish off the story. We decide to hang out in her suburb, which I’ve never been to. When I arrive, she’s got sexy music playing and a candle lit, and my guess is she was ready to bang then and there. No game required. In the end though, we go to visit my friend, cos he lives nearby, and I’ve got cigars to drop into his humidor. Then we go for a ‘walk’, which lasts two minutes, and we’re back at her place, smashing box.

And they all lived happily after. Not much to say really.

Addendum: She said the reason she wanted to leave my place so suddenly (see Pt II) was that she didn’t like how I’d assumed she’d fuck me. Fair enough, and something to be aware of. A lot of PUAs teach ‘always’ rules, but there are always exceptions to those rules, and calibration will help that. In this case, its Always Assume The Sale. Some others: Always Approach, Always Escalate, Always Go For The Number (Never Eject). These are good rules for newbs, because they tend to under do things, but now that I’ve got a fair bit of experience, I’m going to break these rules as I see fit.

The Italian Teacher – Part II

Its about time I finished this one off.

To recap. Hot Italian teacher that I like a lot and who seems to be into me. Day 2 ends with some heavy making out. Day 3 is on a Friday, and I’m hoping to either get her home, or make progress and finish up early enough to head out for some nightgame. I’m going climbing the next morning and need to be up early either way, so its no late night for me.

Its Friday night, and we meet in the city and go for ice-cream. I’m playing it cool, leaning back and doing some light teasing. She seems very talkative around me, and I’m happy to let her tell me about her life. We move off to an intimate bar, and grab some lemonades (let-loose Friday!). I always keep an eye out for the best spot in the bar for kinoing and make-outs. Ideally you want a sofa. Those are taken. Instead, there’s a row of tables, with a bench on the wall side, and a chair on the other side of the table. I grab the bench, and she goes for the chair, but I tell her to come sit next to me. She complies, and seems pleased. Good.

We’re talking about relationships and stuff, I guess its kinda comfort sorta stuff, but bringing sex into the conversation must be getting her just a little heated. Side note: She tells me the one guy that she has desired above all others was fucking ugly. Guess that proves everything that game tells me. 

So how to play this? I need to get her back home. Her place is in the opposite direction to mine. I have little experience in getting girls back to my place for sex after a city date (normally they come to cook or watch a film for the date). The conversation goes like this:

Me: I’d like to show you some music.

Her: Where is this music? [She knew exactly what was going on]

Me: On my computer.

Her: Where is your computer?

Me: In my bedroom. [Poker face]

Its make or break time. What’s she gonna say? Turns out there’s no bullshit from her.

Her: I would like to come and have sex with you. But I want to know how you will feel afterward. I would like to be able to talk to you in the future.

So it turns out that she is fairly invested in me already. She’s identified me as a player on the first date, and I suspect she’s no stranger to casual sex, but doesn’t want to be a pump n dump. Little does she know I quite like this girl, and want to keep her around. I give her a bit of reassurance, and once we’re done with the drinks, we’re on the tram to my place. Once in, I give her a bit of time alone, trying to make her comfortable before I rip her clothes off. Probably not necessary, she’s already verbalised us fucking, but who knows.

After ten minutes she’s on my bed, naked. Fuck she has the nicest (fake) rack I’ve ever seen. Huge. Its basically better than sticking it in the vajayjay. But as I proceed to do just that, she throws a spanner in the works. I’m talking a bit dirty, when I sense that she’s as excited as she should be. Thirty seconds later, and she asks me (tells me) if she can leave.

WTF mate?

I did not expect that. Its not LMR. She wants out. She says she’s not at ease. I tell her she can go, and she starts putting her clothes on and asks me for the address so she can get a cab. I’m in shock. I’ve just had a beautiful woman, whom I genuinely want in my life agree to have sex with me, and then walk off at the moment. I’m a bit upset to say the least. I don’t get why this is going off, and the sudden about face is messing with my brain. Needless to say I don’t like it, I’m pissed and a little upset.

Hey. What are you doing? [Blank look from her]If you leave right now with no explanation, I will never talk to you again. [This is just what my brain was feeling, but I guess its a good PUA technique on a girl who’s invested in you]. 

So we talk for a while, and cos its cold, she hops into bed with me. Better. Really I don’t mind not getting the sex (tonight), but I won’t have her acting like a little kid, throwing a tantrum. She can talk to me like an adult. We talk for a while about this and that. At one point, she tells me I have a great body, and it seems like a good moment so start rubbing myself against her. It leads to the second best BJ of my life, and a little more chatter afterward. I’m happy with that.

Mind is blown

This is today’s theme song

That giddy feeling you get from pushing yourself beyond what you believed possible. Its been a constant companion since I started daygaming.

Whoa! Is this possible? Am I doing this?

Love it.

Two sets from daygame today that smashed through my (already fairly liberal) preconceptions:

1. Slim local Japanese girl, with long hair, long legs, and a bit of a strut. Classic example of a girl who is hot and knows it. There were just so many times (I’ll number them) where it could have fallen apart. I’m stoked I kept it going as long as I did.

I opened commandingly (#1. I think she would have steam rolled me if I’d done anything less) – something I need to do more often… I’m often a bit wishy-washy. Something a long the lines of

I love your long hair – very nice. This is gonna sound odd, but do you know, the colour of your shorts reminds me of these blueberry milkshakes my Mum used to make when I was a kid.

Props to Krauser there. She’s IOIing hard, but also about to walk off – clearly she has somewhere to be (#2). I tell her she looks Chinese, and she says she’s from Japan, which we discuss. She tells me I should visit (we’ll call that another IOI). Felt like I rolling into comfort territory a bit too quickly so added in some teasing, then back to the getting-to-know-you game.

At this point her phone starts ringing, and its her boyfriend. Nuts! I’m thinking ‘game over’. She wants to answer (#3), but I tell her to call him back in a couple of minutes, and she accepts. More chatting, and the boyfriend calls again (#4). So I say the same thing, and she relents once more. Internally I’m really pleased with my dominance… big improvement. Another minute or two of conversation, and I tell her we should grab coffee sometime next week. She seems to consider it, but in the end she doesn’t want to upset her boyfriend. Fair enough, if she likes him she should stay with him.

So yes, I didn’t close, but its still more or less the best set I’ve done. I’ve had sets that have of course go much smoother than that, but they were just on from the beginning. This one was like walking a tightrope, and I didn’t fall off until the final moment. Specifically really happy with my dominance, confidence, and the technical aspects of my game.

2. Immediately after, I spot a girl who I WANT. Huge long curly hair, and long legs, she looks vaguely Eastern European. Love it. However, she’s hanging out with an older woman, presumably her mother. I wouldn’t normally do a mother-daughter set, but I’m so drawn to her. I’m umming and ahhing. Furthermore, I’m pretty sure they saw me chatting to the Japanese girl, because they keep glancing my way every now and then. Dj20 and Vanguard come over, and I point out the situation. Vanguard gives me an odd look, but DJ20 tells me I came out to push myself, so why not do it. Fair enough.

I’m mostly talking to the girl, and she’s IOIing – leaning in, hair stroking, and asking me questions. Later when I engage the mother, she’s IOIing (hair stroking) too. Fuck me, talk about an ego boost. I tell the mother I like her daughter, and I’d like to take her for a coffee sometime. They both give me a pleased giggle, and the girl says ok. I seriously cannot believe it, and start getting a bit shaky when I put the number in my phone.

This girl is going straight to priority no.1. Physically she’s near perfect, but her demeanor is also lovely. Any girl who is content and happy hanging out with her Mum on a Sunday arvo gets a tick in my book. She also seems very confident, and not because of her beauty. Precisely what I’m looking for.

Fantastic day!

Progress with nightgame

Been hitting the nightgame pretty hard over the past couple of weeks.

Progress has been made. I’m now regularly opening sets… probably about 5 per night. I’m drinking a lot less, which has all sorts of benefits. Its more confronting, but also healthier, gives me more confidence, better for the bank account, and doesn’t ruin the following day. No more wasting time in ques either (which was a good form of approach avoidance – lol). I will now save boozing for when I’m hanging with my good friends.

A lot of my sets tend to go absolutely nowhere. Ie. I open, get a non-committal response from girl, then eject. I put this down to

  • A lack of confidence in the nightgame environment – I’m sub-communicating that I don’t expect them to talk to me. To be fixed by doing more sets, and by becoming more natural at banter and vibing in a club.
  • Giving off a ‘creepy-pua’ vibe. Not sure about this one. Can be caused by value scanning the room. I think I should socialise with more mixed sets and guy sets, to just have fun.

Over the weekend (two nights out), I got three make-outs. I ‘think’ I’m a shit night-gamer, but I guess lots of dudes would be happy with those results.

This all raises the question – do I enjoy nightgame?

Pros:

  • Cool music and dancing
  • Girls put effort into their appearance
  • Convenient way to score some fast tail
  • You can do some crazy shit
  • Fun

Cons:

  • Toxic effects on rest of life (staying out late, boozing, clubs can be expensive)
  • Its an environment slanted to take value away from men – look for the bouncer’s looking for excuses to not let you in, or throw you out once you’ve made it inside
  • It can be stressful unlike daygame (to be fair, when I started out, daygame was fucking stressful too)
  • Drunk girls are less alluring, and honestly, most of the ones I talk to, I don’t particularly wish to see again.

On the last point, this may be world-creation and projection on my part. But I believe that clubs do attract lower quality girls – by my standards. I tend to date introverts, whom I doubt make up the majority of the partying crowd. But maybe the main problem is with myself. I daygame to get dates with girls I like. I nightgame to get laid – that night. Hence, during nightgame, hotness and availability is more important to me than personality. Next time I go out, I may aim to only get numbers, not a lay, and see if the quality of girls I meet will improve.

Ultimately, I don’t want to spend my life doing shit I don’t enjoy. I leave that to every other guy, unwilling to take control of his life. I’ll tolerate nightgame for the moment, because the progress I’m making is worth it. I sincerely hope that in a couple of months, I’ll love nightgame as much as I do daygame. If not, I will give it up.

The shy-girl kiss close

Or the introverted-girl KC I guess.

Seems like a lot of the girls I go for are introverted. The type wearing long, flowery skirts, and cute scarves, usually spending a Friday night drinking tea with a friend rather than slamming the clubs. Couple this with the fact that I target them during the day, and tend not to drink even when I’m at a bar – not that I don’t like boozing, but its either ON or OFF for me. These girls are gonna resist your advances, though they want it. They’re just not used to having a trillion dudes hitting on them over the course any given weekend, and as I need to escalate by the end of the second date, you needa deal with that resistance. With a more sexualised girl, you can just go in for the kiss, but an introvert needs more comfort, which you as a busy man don’t have time for.

Enter the shy girl kiss close.

You want to be building deep rapport, and getting plenty of basic kino going. Hand holding, putting your arm round her, etc. Act familiar. Then it goes a little something like this:

  1. You warn her you are thinking about kissing her
  2. She expresses doubts – and contradictory body language tells.
  3. You agree, but suggest those doubts are not the be all and end all
  4. She expresses less strong doubts, the forebrain high-brain conflict reveals itself
  5. You kiss her.

You: [Let the conversation die off, naturally, fix her with a stare – get her attention, so she knows your gonna tell her something] I’m thinking about kissing you… [pause and gauge reaction… verbal and non-verbal*] but I know you’re kinda shy. [You’re giving her a warning, letting her get used to the idea, without having to commit to it. You’re not asking for her permission, but if she gives it, go in… Duh]

Her: Maybe I’m too shy for that, I don’t know, etc… [Look for contradictory body language tells]

You: True, but I think secretly you might want to try it too…

Her: I’m not sure, I’m not sure…

You: [slowly move your head towards hers, expect her to do the same. Kiss her gently and slowly. She’ll enjoy it.]

The key here is having the ability to read what her non-verbals are telling you. Look for contradictions in what she says and does. She’ll verbally refuse, but non-verbally encourage. Eg.

  • Not move away from you
  • Increase her touching of you – applying pressure to your hand if she’s holding it
  • Hold strong eye contact, look for pupil dilution indicating excitement. The ‘Its ON’ eyes.
  • Looking away from you, then bact toward you… darting eyes are the classic forebrain/hindbrain conflict.

When you see some of this, you wanna grab her (figuratively) and force her hand by going in for the kiss. The forebrain should relent under your direction and the hindbrain’s desire. Expect things to get easier once you’ve overcome this barrier, but be wary of their attachment.

SDL-Sunday

I wanted to push myself today. Right now I’ve got enough female attention that I don’t care about burning sets because I pushed them to far. The MO was: today I am going to take every interaction as far as possible, only going for the number as a last resort.. The ultimate success would be the single-day-lay, surely the holy grail of daygaming.

I was headed out alone, and a bit worried that I’d find it hard to approach with no one to push me, and having not done many sets recently. I needn’t have worried… think im over the AA for good (nightgame is a different story).

1. German exchange student

Opened this girl by commenting on her hair. We talked for a couple of minutes, but she appered distracted and ran off to catch a train.

2. Croatian flight attendant

This girl had huge dark curly hair, a nice figure, and was wearing those damn ugg boots that I hate. So basically thats my opener sorted – an easy compliment, and an easy tease, all in one. She was just in Melbourne for the day – and I was thinking SDL time – but my conversation was really stale and didn’t go anywhere. Still, there seemed to be a bit of attraction, so I suggested a coffee. In the end, her flight was in a couple of hours, so it was a no go. Probably my favourite girl of the day.

3. Hong Kong student

Opened this one by saying her coat reminded me of an outfit in a film noir movie I’d watched. Again, this set was ok, she opened up, but I was lacking any dynamic-ness, so it all went nowhere.

4. American student

Should have been my best set. I opened and she gave me the eye-sparkle that suggests she’s interested. It was a pleasure to talk to her. But again, I let it slide with my conversation. I don’t know why but I was feeling tongue tied and boring all day. Harrumph!

5. Italian tourist

Maybe the most interesting set of the day for me. She was pretty fun to talk to, but off to meet a friend, and I wasn’t interested enough to take the number.

There were another 4-5 sets like the above. Generally, I’d open well, have a few minutes of conversation, and then nothing. I think in a way, I was too laid back and low energy today. Normally I’m a little nervous or excited, but today wasn’t like that at all. So I think I was subcommunicating to the girls that I wasn’t that excited to be talking to them, that it was just a process.

Had an interesting moment where after a few minutes the girl told me she had to go, whilst making absolutely no effort to move on – still had her legs crossed, etc. I reckon this must’ve been a test, to see how I’d respond to her leaving.

Obviously I didn’t get far with my original mission, but the day wasn’t a total write off. Plus with instadates I think a lot of it is luck with logistics, so I won’t be too hard on myself for not getting any

Pros: No problems with opening, or getting the girls to stop and chat. I don’t think I ejected from a set all day, which is really what I was after.
Cons: Boring conversation, too low energy. My opener’s were very repetitive… I prefer to keep it fresh and specific to each girl, so she knows I talked to her for a reason.

I give the day a 5/10 rating. A SDL awaits.