Inner game issues

One of my goals this year is to sort out my inner game. I’m not there yet.

Success in such a task is elusive. Most guys in the game learn to approach, develop confidence from an ‘abundance mentality’, and call it good. That was me last year. For the first time in my life, I was regularly banging multiple girls. With four girls on rotation – each and everyone one of them hotter than any girl I’d slept with at any point in my life – of course I was feeling confident.

Naive is me. I’d treated the symptoms, not the cause.

In a matter of weeks, all four girls – for various reasons – dropped out of rotation. I got busy with uni and didn’t have time to approach. As the week’s went by, I had a string of bad dates, which I failed to get anything out of. At the same time, I had an ego investment in being ‘a guy that pulls’. I started to get unsettled – ‘C’mon, I need another lay, where’s it gonna come from’ I’d think, much like an addict who’s run out of crack. I lowered my standards and pulled a couple of times, but it felt like pouring water into a leaky bucket.

To that end, I’ve been working on my inner game. Call it deep inner game. Trying to ferret out those issues that are buried under layers of detritus due to avoiding them in the first place. I’ve found two points that are inhibiting my self-worth.

  1. The belief that I’m not worth having people spend their time on helping me. I tend to suffer my problems in silence, thinking that people would not want to assist me, and that I should sort shit out on my own. Of course such an attitude is not all bad – its taught real self-reliance, but its a self-worth problem.
  2. I have the belief that I’m not an interesting person to talk to. This arose from me being extremely quiet and shy in my younger years. I could never think of something to say to people. If I did have something to say, I’d be cautious about expressing it, out of fear it wouldn’t be taken well.

Mission is to overcome these problems. Likely, other issues exist that I’m not consciously aware of yet. Inner reflection is important.

Right now I’m in another dry patch. But I feel alright about it; I don’t have the sense of urgency to slay new pussy that I had last year.

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Some daygame videos

Months ago I bought a spycam, and was really excited to start making videos of myself hitting the streets. Like a lot of things, the excitement wears off when you realise its not as easy as it sounds. After a big session of daygaming, the last thing you want to do is sit around re listening to conversations that you already had, particularly when there’s whiskey and cigars in the living room to be enjoyed. On top of that, listening to my own voice is not pleasant. And don’t get me started on the blow out videos… watching those is more painful than the original experience.

Nonetheless, its a good tool, and I should be using it. So here are a few videos. Some hits, and some misses.

  • 0:00 Had a cold and wasn’t in the mood to be daygaming. But I got a just noticeable IOI from this girl as I was crossing the road, and decided to give it a shot
  • 0:40 She’s already trying to walk off. Calling her a tourist delays that a little.
  • 0:50 I’m using too many drawn out ‘ooohs’, ‘wow’s, and other unnecessary words (totally, like, etc)
  • 0:52 In the future I’ll try to phrase questions as statements  ‘You must be from…’ or real questions ‘Oh, are you from…’ not this wishy-washy ‘Oh you are from…’
  • 1:10 Pretty standard tease and assumption. Ultimately doesn’t go anywhere.
  • 1:36 The eyes and smile suggest that shes enjoying the interaction, but in reality she was edging away, and I think she was amused rather than attracted.

A false assumption stack that makes the girl defend herself is actually a good idea when the girl wants to walk off straight away. That was not deliberate in this case.

Here’s a cute German bird. The video is way too close to get her facial reactions, but the audio is fine.

  • 0:27 I could really be getting a lot more out of these openers. I’m talking to quickly, and not putting enough content in there.
  • 0:43 Straight away she’s helping me out, but also trying to lead the conversation.
  • 2:17 Need to stop talking about boring shit
  • Throughout this video I’ve been way too quick to fill gaps in the conversation.

Next time I’ll put up some videos where I close, just to prove I’m not totally shite. 

Korea Stories

I’m back from Korea – here’s a summary of PUA related events.

After a horrible flight, I was met by Grey at Incheon airport. Grey is a girl that I daygamed ages ago with Vanguard, but didn’t try to bang due to her having a cold. She was really nice to me the whole trip, and will come up later on in this report. After I hung out with her for most of the day, I wanted to do some day game. First set was a Korean that almost hooked (the closest I got to hooking a Korean on the whole trip). Next up was a well dressed Russian that I instadated for a couple of hours, but couldn’t kiss (what do you expect – she’s Russian).

Russian idate

The Russian

Never heard from her again.

Few days later I met a Korean girl called Yujin. I thought about chasing her, but decided against it (she was massively religious, and a bit older than me). I felt I didn’t need to pursue every single girl that I meet. Yujin showed me lots of cool stuff in her town. She also gave me the meal of my live – live Octopus!. I spent a couple of days doing stuff with her, and it was really awesome.

I left Yujin’s town and went back to Seoul, where I met up with Grey for a late dinner. I then took her back to my hostel dorm, to grab a jacket. The dorm is on the third floor, and in the elevat0r I started kissing Grey (note that Koreans DON’T kiss in public, so that was the first time I’d kissed her on that date). As soon as I kissed her, she pushed herself against me, and I realised she was ready to be fucked. But my dorm was way too full. I had nowhere to take her. We got back in the elevator, and I told her were going on an adventure. I hit the 17th floor button, and it seemed to be a floor of apartments. It was pretty dark in the corridor, and after midnight, so I thought it would be ok to fuck her there. As I’m sucking on her tits, someone comes out of a room and busts us. Dammit! We kind of try to hide (which is impossible in the corridor) and once they dude leaves, we carry on. I’ve got her tights off, and my cock out. I’m about to stick it in when another door opens and we’re busted again! Millimetres away from banging! This time she’s spooked and wants to leave. So we go for coffee, which is not as sex.

The following night, Yujin took me out for dinner in Gangnam (she really liked me and paid for a lot of my shit). I decided to kiss her, and that went down well. Though she was the most retarded kisser of all time. I told her to come with me to a club nearby where I meeting a dude from Darwin (not a PUA). The club was epic. Really upmarket. I’ve never been somewhere where packs of ciggies are free. It also had a swimming pool, and tons of hot Korean birds. We rocked it.

Gangnam style

My experience with Korean clubs is that in the uni clubs, the guys are dicks to Westerners, who they see as competition to their girls. But in the luxury clubs, everyone wants to meet the Westerner (or maybe I was just drunk). Anyway, had a ball in that club (despite having to kick Yujin out so I could meet more girls). I only made out with one girl (as I said, hard to make out with Koreans anywhere that’s not private). I totally lost track of her, but happened to run into her as we were leaving, where I grabbed her facebook, and also ended up getting a taxi with her friends, who were going back to the same district as us.

The next day I was really hungover. Yujin took me out for lunch, and then I ran off to meet up with Se Yoon, the girl from the night before. She was kind of weird, and a bit cold. s
he was worried that I was a player. I told her I was, and she seemed to like the honesty. She kept asking me how many Korean girls I was sleeping with on my trip. She kept demanding to hear about the last girl I’d banged, so I told her about getting caught having sex with Grey two days earlier. Then we made out.

Aside: This is where I realised that there is absolutely no need to try and present yourself in a clean light to girls you want to fuck. No need at all. 

I didn’t bang Se Yoon either. By the end of the night she seemed to really like me, and kept putting her head on my shoulder. She had to go home though, as apparently her parents are really strict (and she still hadn’t been home since the night before in the club). She said she wanted to meet the next day, but that didn’t happen due to a few reasons.

It was pretty late by this point, and I wanted to go back to my hostel and eat some food and sleep. Hin wanted to go out though, and I agreed. We got some chicken and went to a local K pop club. There were very few hotties, and except for two stunning Koreans (found out one was a model), who seemed to be hanging around with an obese Canadian. Hin and I were awestruck by those girls immediately. They were by far the hottest girls in the club. Two chodes were seated between us and the hotties. Randomly, the hotter of the two leaned across the chodes and asked me where I’m from.

Later Hin and I were on the dancefloor, and I opened the set. It went well, and Hin was talking with his girl, and I was dancing with the model. The fat Canadian kept getting in the way all night. Things were going swimmingly, and my girl was getting pretty dirty. I was really hoping for SNL at this point, but we couldn’t figure out what to do about the Canadian.

The girls wanted to go do karaoke, and this is where things went badly. I was super hungover, and I don’t like karaoke at the best of times. My girl sensed this and that I was only coming along for the lay. I had lost the frame and with it, my girl. Girls of that calibre are finely attuned to whats going on, and this one picked up on it immediately. She was really cold toward me from then on. A valuable lesson. Hin still seemed to be doing ok. I think he saw his girl again, but didn’t bang.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The DMZ

The next day was my last in Korea. I met up for lunch with Grey, and took her back to my new hostel (where I had a private room). But she was ill, and had a birthday party on in an hour, so she was 100% not going to do anything more than kiss.

I was a little sad at this point. 10 days in Korea, and whilst it wasn’t a sex holiday, I would’ve liked to fuck one girl. I’d even failed to fuck this girl, who I’d fucked in Melbourne a few months earlier (she did take me to spiderman IMAX). Yujin and her friend wanted to meet near my hostel to see a concert. I went with them, not planning on banging Yujin. After a while, Yujin’s friend left. I told Yujin to come back to my room (she was so into me this was not hard), where I was planning on making out with her before sending her off. Pretty quickly we were banging though, and there was my Korean lay.

When I was kissing her, she did something so retarded that I almost threw her out. I have now learned that I am extremely turned off by unintelligent girls.

Got up early next morning. Flight home as shit as flight there.