Capture the flag – Mexico

Shit! Another lay from nightgame??? Maybe I’m not a daygamer after all. Identity crisis.

Its early evening on a Friday and I’m out with the usual suspects. Early on I was on a date with Little Miss Cameroon. People are slowly getting warmed up, most getting ready to watch the world cup. My mate opens a two set of Mexicans at his favorite bar. But they’re not his type, so he kindly handballs ’em my way. The cuter one has dark medium length straight hair, dark eyes, and a little extra weight, but not that  bad. The whole pick up is just routine. Standard 10 minute daygame set type stuff. She gets teased about being a boring tax accountant, and about only drinking tequila. She’s got a twinkle in her eye, and I’m rubbing my hands in glee – a Mexican! I want that Mexi-flag! The girls are out for a quick drink before watching the football. ‘Whose playing?’ I ask. ‘Mexico vs Cameroon’ she says.

Hold it right there! I just made out with a Cameroonian, and now I’m teasing a Mexican. And she’s telling me its Mexico V Cameroon. I love stupid games, and making out with girls from both countries fits the bill.

After some normal chit chat, she wants to know the colour of my eyes. Its too dark for her to see them, so on that pretext her, I mini bounce her to another part of the bar for ‘just a minute’.

As it happens, ‘just a minute’ is just long enough for a quick make out and her number to make its way into my phone.

Fast forward a week, and we meet up for a drink. I want to dissect the date, but there’s nothing to dissect. It was sushi, then to a bar where we make out. Next we jumped on the train to my favourite cigar bar. At this point, she’s just enamored with me. Her body is massively angled towards me, and when I pull her in, she puts her head on my shoulder and lets me feel her up. She’s such an affectionate, gentle girl that its a lovely, relaxing evening, particularly after Cameroon. After I’m done with my Cohiba, I suggest some wine back at my place.

cohiba

I had me one of these

Little Miss Mexico is massively submissive, and so she gets the sour cream fucked out of her taco. I’ve put up a post about submission in women, so lets explore this further. The whole evening, I feel this girl is ready to give up her soul. Its in the eyes. Its the way her body falls against mine on the couch in the cigar bar. The finale occurs when I’ve got her on her back in my bed. I’m fingering her with one hand, and lightly choking her with the other. As I gradually let go, her eyes rolls upwards to look at me, and the look she gives is ‘I’ll do anything you want me to’. I tell her that’s how she looks, and she responds ‘I’m your slave’. She’s ripe to give up her soul. Have to be careful with this one.

Followed by something like this

Followed by something like this

Frustration and boundaries

Getting good at game is frustrating. Extremely frustrating. I”m more aware of this than ever, after my string of near misses. Most notably, in the last couple of weeks I have:

-Getting caught about to fuck a girl in public TWICE in Korea, and then the moment was lost.

-Met a lovely Chinese girl who I didn’t fuck cos her pussy was too tight. Now she’s refusing to come out due to her being in the middle of uni exams.

-Almost banged a Cameroonian girl several times, but keep getting hit by either extreme LMR or bad logistics. Several times its been looking good, and then… nope! Total fail to bang. Its this girl I want to discuss.

The PUA equivalent of this

The Cameroonian is the PUA equivalent of this

Since that event we had a non-sexual date bto build comfort (her helping me buy groceries). A week later she calls and asks if she can see me the following day (Friday). She wants to come straight to my place, and this seems pretty good. My plan is to have her over, fuck, then possibly head out for a beer with the boys. Sounds straightforward right?

On the day, I run some lazy daygame and head home to wait for her. And then the trouble starts. First, she’s two hours late. I’m on the verge of calling the whole thing off and going to the pub to meet some friends, when she calls and says she’s on the way, so I relent. When she comes over, my game is a bit shit ( I fail to put her at ease), and the escalation fails. I sense that she’s come to fuck, but also that she’s gonna put up as many obstacles as she can before that happens.

And so she does. She’s not enthusiastic about kissing, and keeps messaging her friends and going on facebook. This and the fact that she’s so late frustrate the shit out of me. I just want to have a nice time with her and get onto sexy time – instead I’m dealing with all this bullshit. I walk out of the bedroom, get some water, and decide the lay is coming at too high a price and I’d rather just hang out with some friends. So I go back into my bedroom where she’s waiting, flick on the lights, and start getting ready to go out. She’s not happy. Understandably, she thinks (more or less correctly) that I”m angry cos she won’t fuck, and she’s not happy about that at all. As we walk to the tram stop, she keeps wandering off, and it seems like she’s angry enough not to meet me again. Despite the frustrating evening, she’s a nice girl and I certainly want to see her again. How to recover? I need to communicate to there that there’s a reason I’m not happy, and she needs to fix that if she’s to see me again.

Its boundary-enforcing time.

She’s informed that:

a) her lateness is not on

b) she’s not to dick around on her mobile phone if she wants to spend time with me

How does this play out?

My goal was to slowly let her know that I was not happy with her, but that I still liked her. She takes the talking to, and we get the tram to the city together, in silence. Once in the city, I’m hungry and tell her to come with me to the shop. There’s a new exhibition on at fed square, so we have a look around, ending in a passionate makeout and her asking if I’m no longer mad at her. Then I walk her home and go meet my mates.

This date, despite being a royal pain in the a-hole, showed me the importance of enforcing boundaries. Pre-PUA, I let people walk all over me, so this is new ground.

Post Edit: I still have not banged but she has overtly communicated that it’ll happen. Don’t count your eggs before they hatch.

Post post edit: Banged.

One o those nightgame lays

Its Melbourne Lair Newbies Night, and my plan is to go along for the first half, listen to my mates talk, and then meet up with the Cameroonian (a daygame chick whose painstakingly resisted my best efforts to close (sidenote: now closed)) and take her home. Of course, the best laid (LOL) plans oft go astray. Cameroon cancels and I’m undecided as to whether I should go out to some bars, or head home and read some South American Seabord adventure fiction – deadly bandits and lucrative silver mines, rebellion and revolution!

Choices! Whats a man to do?

Choices! What’s a man to do?

Cos I’m such a generous guy (not to mention a supremely talented nightgamer (NOT)), I head out to try to help a couple of the of new lair-dudes. All CBD are venues massively overrun by hungry PUAs, but its a good social night, and the new boys are putting in their best efforts to approach, despite some nerves. Good on ’em! At rooftop, beer is cheap and its great to chill with the new guys and talk shop with some of the more experienced dudes. Actually this is how nightgame should be – having fun with everyone and not feeling so much pressure to be opening sets all the time.

Once Rooftop is closing up, the gang heads downstairs to another bar. The place is fucking cranking. The dancefloor is crammed full of drunken nutters, whilst the DJ is busting out some solid beats. Operation: Dance floor game begins. Soon I’m dancing with some Italian bird and it all seems to be going well. I’ve got my hands on her hips, and her body’s pressed against mine. But everytime I go in for kiss, she’s not up for it. Story of my life, particularly with foreign girls. I’m yet to figure out if there’s a way to overcome this. I move on.

At the back of the dancefloor, there’s this nice looking girl with the kind of curly hair that I love, so I let her know she’s got a great 80s haircut. According to a mate, it was on straight away, but I didn’t pick on this, so just started dancing and chatting to her. Soon her friends have wandered off somewhere and its looking like a good opportunity for a cheeky little makeout. ‘I’ve never kissed a girl with an 80s haircut before’ I tell her – she doesn’t give me the go ahead, but she doesn’t object either, so I just go for it. Success.

Lately I’ve been trying to present myself to girls as a player who its ok to be sexually open with (as a opposed to someone that she should date). This is standard operating procedure for SNLs in nightgame, but I wanna extend it to daygame as well. Part of the key to this is how I’m physically escalating with girls. I like to do it overtly, and unashamedly, whilst letting the girl have fun. Here’s an example of how I’ve been trying to do it.

Me: Your haircut is making me feel like I should be taking you to an 80s prom dance. We’d be 18, nervous and awkward. You’re in a nice gown, and I’m wearing a blue suit and too much hair gel.

Her: The suit has to be really bright.

Me: Of course – and a ridiculously wide tie. I hope your dress is going to show off your tits. Do you have nice tits [pull open her jacket to have a look at them]

Her: They’re ok

Me: Its too dark, I can’t tell. I’m just gonna feel them [go ahead without waiting for permission]

I reckon chicks love the boldness of it all and I have lots and lots of fun making a game like that out of escalation. We dance for a bit longer, and next she wants to find her friends. They’re near the door, and the three girls chat whilst I lean back against the wall. On my phone there’s a txt from a friend of mine ‘Where u go?’ I respond ‘Trying to take this girl home. We’ll see’. I didn’t realise but as I was typing that, but she’d come over to stand next to me! ‘I saw what you wrote’ says she. I respond ‘Yep thats what I’m trying to do’. ‘I’m not going home with you!’. ‘That won’t stop me from giving it a shot’. We make out a bit more.

We go somewhere more isolated, and make out some more. I tell her I want to take her home, pour myself a whiskey, push her against a wall, look deep in her eyes, and slowly press my body against hers.

Her: That’s nice. But I’m not going home with you.

Me: I’m going to take your home.

Her: We’ll see who has the strongest will [this is pretty much confirmation she’s gonna come home].

[5 minutes of boring chit chat follows]

Me: Lets leave

Her: I’ll just get my bag and jacket. On the way out she introduces me to her friends (so I know her friends name’s, but not hers. Great). They don’t try to cockblock at all, which is very polite of them indeed. Taxi. Home. Whisky. Fuck.

Overall not a satisfying lay. The sex wasn’t great, and I’ve missed out on the traditional post nightgame feed at China Bar. She sleeps for a bit and then leaves halfway through the night, so I never find out her name (nor phone number). Takeaways:

  • Inane chit chat in the taxi to keep her distracted
  • Don’t be ashamed of wanting to fuck a girl

The submission dynamic

Part of drawing a woman into your world, is letting her submit to you. Most PUAs are aware of dominance in the bedroom, but that’s not (specifically) what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the process by which a girl looks up to you as her leader, and slips into a sheltered and safe mindset in which she can relax and express her femininity. The perfect metaphor for this is man-to-woman dancing – the man leads (practicality, character), allowing the woman to display her beauty and poise (aesthetics, personality). Examples of this dynamic are:

  1. On a date, the girl follows your lead
  2. As you get to know each other, you display your worldly competence, and she looks up to you as someone who ‘gets how the world works’.
  3. She accepts that you have the character to look after not only yourself, but her as well. She begins to trust you with her welfare.
  4. She wants you to fuck her.

The above is a rough chronological outline of the process. Stages will overlap, and of course you can think of other examples – eg. during the initial street stop, you may mini bounce a girl to a less-busy part of the street, so you can hear each other better.

As PUAs looking to get laid, the goal is to get to stage 4, but I won’t talk about that here. That’s what game is for. Stages 1-3 ARE NOT NECESSARY to get laid, but they are a) desirable if you want a mutually affirming relationship with the girl, and b) helpful in getting to stage 4, and c) the difference in pulling 8s to pulling 10s. A girl who looks up to you, feels safe with you, and (of course is attracted to you), is a girl that wants to sleep with you.

It should be clear here that I’m talking about ongoing (not necessarily exclusive) relationships where you get to know each other. This is not necessary for SNLs in clubs, or ‘up for it’ girls off the street.

 So the question becomes – how does one go about achieving the submission dynamic? Some ideas:

  • Get used to making decisions and having people follow you.
  • Become confident. Believe that the world is your oyster, and you have the power to whatever you wish with your life. Learn to bounce back from rejection; it’ll carve you into a man’s man.
  • Become competent. Learn manly skills. Be well read, and learn to link concepts from different disciplines. Get used to people relying on you. Be good at your job and hobbies. Do this because you want to, not because you can use it to pull chicks.
  • Have a plan. Know your place in life, and where you are going with it.
  • On dates, once she has ‘won you over’, take care of her. If she’s put on her tallest heels for you, don’t make her walk all over the city. If she’s wearing a short sexy dress in winter, take her to a cosy pub, not a rooftop bar.
  • Allow her to make decisions occaisionally – eg. ‘Lets get something sweet tonight. Do you feel like frozen yoghurt or hot chocolates’. You let her live in your dimension.
  • Explain to her your understanding of the world, and your life plan. Not in a lecture-y way. Allow her to draw it out of you.

By odinsfortress Posted in Game