Part of drawing a woman into your world, is letting her submit to you. Most PUAs are aware of dominance in the bedroom, but that’s not (specifically) what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the process by which a girl looks up to you as her leader, and slips into a sheltered and safe mindset in which she can relax and express her femininity. The perfect metaphor for this is man-to-woman dancing – the man leads (practicality, character), allowing the woman to display her beauty and poise (aesthetics, personality). Examples of this dynamic are:
- On a date, the girl follows your lead
- As you get to know each other, you display your worldly competence, and she looks up to you as someone who ‘gets how the world works’.
- She accepts that you have the character to look after not only yourself, but her as well. She begins to trust you with her welfare.
- She wants you to fuck her.
The above is a rough chronological outline of the process. Stages will overlap, and of course you can think of other examples – eg. during the initial street stop, you may mini bounce a girl to a less-busy part of the street, so you can hear each other better.
As PUAs looking to get laid, the goal is to get to stage 4, but I won’t talk about that here. That’s what game is for. Stages 1-3 ARE NOT NECESSARY to get laid, but they are a) desirable if you want a mutually affirming relationship with the girl, and b) helpful in getting to stage 4, and c) the difference in pulling 8s to pulling 10s. A girl who looks up to you, feels safe with you, and (of course is attracted to you), is a girl that wants to sleep with you.
It should be clear here that I’m talking about ongoing (not necessarily exclusive) relationships where you get to know each other. This is not necessary for SNLs in clubs, or ‘up for it’ girls off the street.
So the question becomes – how does one go about achieving the submission dynamic? Some ideas:
- Get used to making decisions and having people follow you.
- Become confident. Believe that the world is your oyster, and you have the power to whatever you wish with your life. Learn to bounce back from rejection; it’ll carve you into a man’s man.
- Become competent. Learn manly skills. Be well read, and learn to link concepts from different disciplines. Get used to people relying on you. Be good at your job and hobbies. Do this because you want to, not because you can use it to pull chicks.
- Have a plan. Know your place in life, and where you are going with it.
- On dates, once she has ‘won you over’, take care of her. If she’s put on her tallest heels for you, don’t make her walk all over the city. If she’s wearing a short sexy dress in winter, take her to a cosy pub, not a rooftop bar.
- Allow her to make decisions occaisionally – eg. ‘Lets get something sweet tonight. Do you feel like frozen yoghurt or hot chocolates’. You let her live in your dimension.
- Explain to her your understanding of the world, and your life plan. Not in a lecture-y way. Allow her to draw it out of you.