Getting good at game is frustrating. Extremely frustrating. I”m more aware of this than ever, after my string of near misses. Most notably, in the last couple of weeks I have:
-Getting caught about to fuck a girl in public TWICE in Korea, and then the moment was lost.
-Met a lovely Chinese girl who I didn’t fuck cos her pussy was too tight. Now she’s refusing to come out due to her being in the middle of uni exams.
-Almost banged a Cameroonian girl several times, but keep getting hit by either extreme LMR or bad logistics. Several times its been looking good, and then… nope! Total fail to bang. Its this girl I want to discuss.
Since that event we had a non-sexual date bto build comfort (her helping me buy groceries). A week later she calls and asks if she can see me the following day (Friday). She wants to come straight to my place, and this seems pretty good. My plan is to have her over, fuck, then possibly head out for a beer with the boys. Sounds straightforward right?
On the day, I run some lazy daygame and head home to wait for her. And then the trouble starts. First, she’s two hours late. I’m on the verge of calling the whole thing off and going to the pub to meet some friends, when she calls and says she’s on the way, so I relent. When she comes over, my game is a bit shit ( I fail to put her at ease), and the escalation fails. I sense that she’s come to fuck, but also that she’s gonna put up as many obstacles as she can before that happens.
And so she does. She’s not enthusiastic about kissing, and keeps messaging her friends and going on facebook. This and the fact that she’s so late frustrate the shit out of me. I just want to have a nice time with her and get onto sexy time – instead I’m dealing with all this bullshit. I walk out of the bedroom, get some water, and decide the lay is coming at too high a price and I’d rather just hang out with some friends. So I go back into my bedroom where she’s waiting, flick on the lights, and start getting ready to go out. She’s not happy. Understandably, she thinks (more or less correctly) that I”m angry cos she won’t fuck, and she’s not happy about that at all. As we walk to the tram stop, she keeps wandering off, and it seems like she’s angry enough not to meet me again. Despite the frustrating evening, she’s a nice girl and I certainly want to see her again. How to recover? I need to communicate to there that there’s a reason I’m not happy, and she needs to fix that if she’s to see me again.
Its boundary-enforcing time.
She’s informed that:
a) her lateness is not on
b) she’s not to dick around on her mobile phone if she wants to spend time with me
How does this play out?
My goal was to slowly let her know that I was not happy with her, but that I still liked her. She takes the talking to, and we get the tram to the city together, in silence. Once in the city, I’m hungry and tell her to come with me to the shop. There’s a new exhibition on at fed square, so we have a look around, ending in a passionate makeout and her asking if I’m no longer mad at her. Then I walk her home and go meet my mates.
This date, despite being a royal pain in the a-hole, showed me the importance of enforcing boundaries. Pre-PUA, I let people walk all over me, so this is new ground.
Post Edit: I still have not banged but she has overtly communicated that it’ll happen. Don’t count your eggs before they hatch.
Post post edit: Banged.