Daygame issues and street kiss closes

So this was something I wrote up a few weeks back, but wasn’t quite happy with the writing quality. Still, poor quality is better than nothing, so I’ll post as is.

Daygame Issues:
I’ve been having some issues approaching over the last month or two, and its taken a while to figure out the cause. Its not approach anxiety per se, but an ego-investment in being good at daygame. This has led me to fear rejection because it means I’m not good at daygame. Once I figured this out, it was like a weight had been taken off my shoulders. It was ok to go out and rejected again. The ego is a slippery little bugger, always finding ways to protect your identity.

Despite this, or maybe because of it, my number closing rate has been remarkably good this year. I reckon I’m closing 30%+ of sets in any given week. Most don’t flake. I will never have to worry about being able to get dates again.

Daygame session 31st Ausgust
This was another great session. The first few sets started off slow though. I’m starting to think that the streets of Melbourne have been yad stopped out, such is the behaviour of the current crop of approach machines doing ‘high volume’ – I’m hardly above such behaviour though. Girls are no longer curious as to why you’re running after them, and half of them will walk off before you get the opener out. That’s ok though, it just means that its back to the drawing board for a new approach. Despite the slow start, the session was capped off with a hat trick of solid sets.

Solid set #1
After picking up a refreshing milkshake, I spotted a nice Asian and asked her about the frozen yoghurt she was eating. This set went exceptionally well. It got sexual pretty quickly:
“I’d love to go on holiday to Nicaragua”
“What would you do there?”
“They make a lot of cigars there. I can see myself lying on the beach, enjoying the warmth of the sun and smoking a fat cigar, listening to the waves crash on the sand, checking out the girls”
There was a real atmosphere of familiarity between us, and I was getting strong eye contact off her. It just seemed like she might be up for making out, so I told her I was going to kiss her (we had a running joke that I’ve never kissed a girl before). I grabbed her hand as I did so, and she looked around to see who was watching, but left her hand in place. She wouldn’t kiss but kept poking me and touching me afterward – tells me she was interested but not quite up for it.

 

Solid set #2
We popped into some Chinese store to look at some candy they were selling. A nice looking girl in short shorts seemed like a good victim choice, but as I was going in, a classy looking filly in heels caught my eye and I changed course. She was extremely well dressed, and had those well-to-do facial features you associate with money. She turned out to be extremely ditzy and after 10minutes I took a pretty solid number, with the shopkeeper giving my wing dirty looks for taking photos of the whole thing. Here’s one of them.

My dong is this big!

Solid set #3
Worn out from all the walking, we headed to Melbourne Central to grab some food and sit down, where we bumped into 50 PUAs. At the top of the escalator to the food court was a Japanese girl in a scarf that looked like it was out of a posh British woman’s wardrobe. She was informed of that, and loved it. In fact everything I said was hitting hard, and you can see from this photo how much she’s enjoying it.

IMG-20140903-WA0005

Eye contact was strong.
“You’ve got nice eyes – deep and brown”
*giggle* “Thanks”
“I’m going to kiss you”
*looks away “What? Kiss me??”
I hold out my hand and she takes it, then pull her in to make out. She’s kinda nervous about the whole thing, but enjoys it and gives me a big hug when I leave.
Score! My third street kiss close, and fastest yet. Too bad all the PUAs and my wing missed it.

Summary
-I need to work on killing my daygame ego.

-Street kiss close is very possible, if you have the right girls and know what to do. I’ve got a bit of a method for how I do it now, and might write it all down and post it up on the lair to see what people think

Benefits of daygame

The benefits of daygame go beyond the ability to run up to girls on the street. That’s a huge plus right there, but in totality, daygame teaches you to a) read and communicate with people and b) assess and fix your own issues, helping to turn you into a fully-developed and very attractive man.

Last week, I was out for a beer and a chat with a mate of mine, Tom. Running ahead of schedule, I popped into the fish n chip shop next to the pub for a bite to eat, and told Tom to meet me there. A funny situation came up. The girl taking my order seemed just a bit more friendly and a bit more open than her job required. Key giveaway for me was “I got married a year ago, but its going badly”. Testing the waters gave a positive result, and by the time Tom arrived, she was sitting at my table telling me about her hometown.

Number was taken and all signs point to a girl that’s looking for excitement.

My mental image of a man who’s mastered daygame is a man who can not only pull very attractive girls off the street, but who easily and frequently picks up on, and takes advantage of these ‘easy wins’. Thus he can go out and attract quality girls when he wishes, and bang the low hanging fruit at convenience.

Nothing wrong with nightgame, but it doesn’t teach you that.
—————————————————————————————————

In other news a banged another young virgin on the weekend. Not gonna write it up in detail, but its worth mentioning that it puts me on ten girls for the year, well behind my aim of twenty in 2014. Hopefully the next four months will bring the goods.

A hottie and a nottie

I love game. Picking up girls keeps getting easier and easier.

When I first started out, I struggled with opening. Through sheer will, and some extremely supportive wings, I got over that stage. Next I struggled with my in-set composure and pre-mature ejection was a frequent occurrence. After a few months, I started to get heaps of numbers, but I’d cock it up on dates. Now that’s sorted too; it recently occurred to me that over the last three or four month, I can only think of one girl that wouldn’t kiss me on a date. In fact, dates have become so easy that I feel like I’m turning on cruise control. I focus on not fucking up.

That's me getting ready for a date with a hot Indian

Destination: Player-town

Right now my sticking point is getting girls home and overcoming resistance.

As one gets better and better at game, its good to put oneself in more testing situations. Take rock climbing as an analogy. After a year of climbing, many people realise it’s a hobby (addiction) worth devoting your life to. You’ll set yourself a target route , say Punks In The Gym, then spend years working your way up to climbing it. You’ll work on different things at different times, sometimes getting strong in the gym, sometimes developing your friction climbing on dicey slabs, sometimes developing mental composure on runout and dangerous adventure routes. Done correctly, you should be able to climb you’re dream route, and have the skills to climb and survive in many situations anywhere in the world. So it is with game.

One upon a time, this was the hardest route in the known universe. Punks in the gym - Western Victoria

One upon a time, this was the hardest route in the known universe. Punks in the gym – Western Victoria

On Saturday, I was shopping with a mate when we passed a slim, lithe, dark haired beauty. Despite not being in daygame mode (I hadn’t even had my daygame smoothie!), there was no question about going in. It was on from the start – distance was encroached, and eye contact was strong. There was no question about getting the number.

As always, logistical problem-Medusa had to rear her ugly head. This girl was only in town for one more evening, before flying back to the gold coast. Furthermore, she was down with a friend, and couldn’t (wouldn’t) ditch her to spend time with me. So Sunday night saw me on a date with two girls. To make matters worse, we didn’t meet until 8.30, so I had a small time window to work with. A futile situation you might say, but I really wanted this girl.

Throughout the date, my target really wanted to talk to me. I really wanted to talk to her. No one wanted to talk to the ugly friend. I tried to include her, but by the end of the night, she was giving me a look like she’d be happy to push me off as building.

My girl was really into me; she was into the sexual hand contact, and eye contact was good. An hour into the date, her friend turned away to take a call, and I tried to kiss her, and though she was obviously keen, wouldn’t do it so quickly and with her friend present. Then she accused me of being a player. After another 20min we all went home.

Since its been a while since I’ve had such a challenging situation, I wanted to reflect on it. There’s thing I really liked about this date, and things I could’ve done a lot better:

Good:

  • Built lots of attraction in the girl
  • Both girls found me an interesting person and were happy to let me lead the conversation. It all seemed so easy.
  • Better yet, this all felt effortless

 

Bad:

  • Overcooked the set – I found it hard to build rapport with both girls present, and may lose my target due to being too much of a player
  • Ignored the friend too much and she’ll likely cockblock me

My target says is back in Melbourne in a month. Its time to put her onto facebook for maintenance until that day arrives. Even though she’s wise to me being a player, I think her defences will be come down over facebook/txt, and I can build some comfort and then pounce when she’s back in town.

The game continues…

Instadate with a (real) model*

I don’t normally write field reports, but sometimes things happen that you just need to write them down.

Its a chilly Saturday and I have a weird date with a free-spirited little Indian chick who I’ve been struggling to get out thanks to both of us having busy schedules. We take a coffee and the whole date is rather… fun. We’ve got lots in common, and she wants to help plan my Indian holiday, and to get some music off me. She’s submitting nicely, and I suggest a walk around the city to look for some gloves. Things are looking good, and I’d like to get the gloves, then go to a pub to settle in for a beer where I’ll kiss her. Instead she’s keen for the walk but says she only has 20 minutes before having to run off to some other engagement. So we find the gloves and then I botch the kiss in a secluded alley! She scurries off and I’m not sure what to make of the whole thing.

I’m alone in the CBD, don’t want to go home and could really do with some company. In one of those moods where you want a relaxing chat and a beer. But no ones around so I end up daygaming solo. Lately I’ve been having some daygame issues (which I’ll write about), and it takes me an hour to approach a girl. She’s a stunner. Asian, long hair, very leggy. A real piece of work. She’s a pro model, and lingerie designer. Exactly the type of girl you want to have on your arm when you go to a party with your AFC mates. She hooks straight away, and after five minutes her eyes are wide and I’m thinking about kissing her cos I (probably) can. So cool! Instead I choose the option which is going to get me laid, which is to take her to a pub and try to kiss her later on.

She’s such a lovely girl. After some food, she’s curling up to me like a cat, expressing her hopes and dreams of becoming a pilot one day. Eventually, we kiss, and then she has a minor flip-out, saying she just met me and never kisses on the first date. I’m starting to see the power of game – in the past she has dated rich businessmen and been proposed to by a famous architect. And here she is, kissing someone who earns $493 a week. After a lovely few hours we part ways.

Post-reflection: I think the journey through game is a series of tremendous moments where you realise life will never be the same again. This was such a moment. Last year I was stuck in an unhappy relationship with a slightly overweight Asian girl. Now I’m pulling a model off the street (and she’s not the only model I’m dating). Puts a big grin on my face.

One game related note – lately I’ve decided to shift towards being upfront with girls about being a player before I sleep with them. So I let this girl know that I tend to see multiple women. Will see how that affects things.

*As opposed to all those girls that claim they’re models cos they did a single photo shoot.

Lay Report – Robbing The Cradle

Lately I’ve been getting into (literally and figuratively) girls of darker complexion.

I’ve banged (or nearly banged) eight Asians this year. Upon arrival back in Melbourne after my Korean holiday, I realised it was time to cure myself of the dreaded yellow fever, and – more importantly – put a stop to the yellow fever related shit slinging from my wings. I’m not into Aussie girls, so I’m concentrating on Indians, Africans, and any South Americans or Euro tourists that I can pick out. That’s for daygame – with nightgame I’ll can take any nationality I can get my hands on.

I spotted this girl strolling home one day after work. Calling her a seven would be generous, but she’s got lovely dark skin, fantastic hair, and an introverted, creative vibe, and piques my interest. Upon closer inspection she’s half Carribean, half Australian, and a little bit of a hippie. I grab the number, and we tee up a date later in the week…

…which goes smoothly. It turns out that she’s almost a decade younger than I am, but it doesn’t worry her, and excites me. My first 18yr old. As above, she’s introverted, and so I build plenty of comfort with her. She asks me why I’m so confident, which completely surprised me, and made me realise that I whilst I may appear confident to other people, I haven’t totally internalised that I am a confident man. In answering her question, I vaguely describe how I was a very shy boy, but how I grew into myself through pushing myself to be more social and outgoing. Its such a great opportunity to build rapport with her. Everything I say resonates with her, as she’s also introverted, and a bit of an outsider I suspect. We had a great date; by the end of it, she’s totally submitting, sitting on my lap, and holding onto me. There’s a lovely warmth between us. I’d love to go for the first date lay, but she seems a little too cautious for that.

caribean

Hiya!

A couple of weeks later we meet up again, and I get a chance to try out my new idea for getting girls home on a second date. She gets there ahead of me.

After a quick drink, I’m about to plant the idea of a glass of wine at my place when she does it for me. ‘Can we go somewhere quieter where we can talk?’ she asks. Given we’re already in a pretty quiet venue…

On the way home, we’re both nervous about what we both know is coming, and the conversation drops a little. I seriously need to get better at making bullshit random conversation about nothing. But once home, it doesn’t take long from pouring the wine to getting my dick in.

Sex is average. She refuses doggie style. +1 18yr old virgin.

 

 

Capture the flag – Mexico

Shit! Another lay from nightgame??? Maybe I’m not a daygamer after all. Identity crisis.

Its early evening on a Friday and I’m out with the usual suspects. Early on I was on a date with Little Miss Cameroon. People are slowly getting warmed up, most getting ready to watch the world cup. My mate opens a two set of Mexicans at his favorite bar. But they’re not his type, so he kindly handballs ’em my way. The cuter one has dark medium length straight hair, dark eyes, and a little extra weight, but not that  bad. The whole pick up is just routine. Standard 10 minute daygame set type stuff. She gets teased about being a boring tax accountant, and about only drinking tequila. She’s got a twinkle in her eye, and I’m rubbing my hands in glee – a Mexican! I want that Mexi-flag! The girls are out for a quick drink before watching the football. ‘Whose playing?’ I ask. ‘Mexico vs Cameroon’ she says.

Hold it right there! I just made out with a Cameroonian, and now I’m teasing a Mexican. And she’s telling me its Mexico V Cameroon. I love stupid games, and making out with girls from both countries fits the bill.

After some normal chit chat, she wants to know the colour of my eyes. Its too dark for her to see them, so on that pretext her, I mini bounce her to another part of the bar for ‘just a minute’.

As it happens, ‘just a minute’ is just long enough for a quick make out and her number to make its way into my phone.

Fast forward a week, and we meet up for a drink. I want to dissect the date, but there’s nothing to dissect. It was sushi, then to a bar where we make out. Next we jumped on the train to my favourite cigar bar. At this point, she’s just enamored with me. Her body is massively angled towards me, and when I pull her in, she puts her head on my shoulder and lets me feel her up. She’s such an affectionate, gentle girl that its a lovely, relaxing evening, particularly after Cameroon. After I’m done with my Cohiba, I suggest some wine back at my place.

cohiba

I had me one of these

Little Miss Mexico is massively submissive, and so she gets the sour cream fucked out of her taco. I’ve put up a post about submission in women, so lets explore this further. The whole evening, I feel this girl is ready to give up her soul. Its in the eyes. Its the way her body falls against mine on the couch in the cigar bar. The finale occurs when I’ve got her on her back in my bed. I’m fingering her with one hand, and lightly choking her with the other. As I gradually let go, her eyes rolls upwards to look at me, and the look she gives is ‘I’ll do anything you want me to’. I tell her that’s how she looks, and she responds ‘I’m your slave’. She’s ripe to give up her soul. Have to be careful with this one.

Followed by something like this

Followed by something like this

Frustration and boundaries

Getting good at game is frustrating. Extremely frustrating. I”m more aware of this than ever, after my string of near misses. Most notably, in the last couple of weeks I have:

-Getting caught about to fuck a girl in public TWICE in Korea, and then the moment was lost.

-Met a lovely Chinese girl who I didn’t fuck cos her pussy was too tight. Now she’s refusing to come out due to her being in the middle of uni exams.

-Almost banged a Cameroonian girl several times, but keep getting hit by either extreme LMR or bad logistics. Several times its been looking good, and then… nope! Total fail to bang. Its this girl I want to discuss.

The PUA equivalent of this

The Cameroonian is the PUA equivalent of this

Since that event we had a non-sexual date bto build comfort (her helping me buy groceries). A week later she calls and asks if she can see me the following day (Friday). She wants to come straight to my place, and this seems pretty good. My plan is to have her over, fuck, then possibly head out for a beer with the boys. Sounds straightforward right?

On the day, I run some lazy daygame and head home to wait for her. And then the trouble starts. First, she’s two hours late. I’m on the verge of calling the whole thing off and going to the pub to meet some friends, when she calls and says she’s on the way, so I relent. When she comes over, my game is a bit shit ( I fail to put her at ease), and the escalation fails. I sense that she’s come to fuck, but also that she’s gonna put up as many obstacles as she can before that happens.

And so she does. She’s not enthusiastic about kissing, and keeps messaging her friends and going on facebook. This and the fact that she’s so late frustrate the shit out of me. I just want to have a nice time with her and get onto sexy time – instead I’m dealing with all this bullshit. I walk out of the bedroom, get some water, and decide the lay is coming at too high a price and I’d rather just hang out with some friends. So I go back into my bedroom where she’s waiting, flick on the lights, and start getting ready to go out. She’s not happy. Understandably, she thinks (more or less correctly) that I”m angry cos she won’t fuck, and she’s not happy about that at all. As we walk to the tram stop, she keeps wandering off, and it seems like she’s angry enough not to meet me again. Despite the frustrating evening, she’s a nice girl and I certainly want to see her again. How to recover? I need to communicate to there that there’s a reason I’m not happy, and she needs to fix that if she’s to see me again.

Its boundary-enforcing time.

She’s informed that:

a) her lateness is not on

b) she’s not to dick around on her mobile phone if she wants to spend time with me

How does this play out?

My goal was to slowly let her know that I was not happy with her, but that I still liked her. She takes the talking to, and we get the tram to the city together, in silence. Once in the city, I’m hungry and tell her to come with me to the shop. There’s a new exhibition on at fed square, so we have a look around, ending in a passionate makeout and her asking if I’m no longer mad at her. Then I walk her home and go meet my mates.

This date, despite being a royal pain in the a-hole, showed me the importance of enforcing boundaries. Pre-PUA, I let people walk all over me, so this is new ground.

Post Edit: I still have not banged but she has overtly communicated that it’ll happen. Don’t count your eggs before they hatch.

Post post edit: Banged.

One o those nightgame lays

Its Melbourne Lair Newbies Night, and my plan is to go along for the first half, listen to my mates talk, and then meet up with the Cameroonian (a daygame chick whose painstakingly resisted my best efforts to close (sidenote: now closed)) and take her home. Of course, the best laid (LOL) plans oft go astray. Cameroon cancels and I’m undecided as to whether I should go out to some bars, or head home and read some South American Seabord adventure fiction – deadly bandits and lucrative silver mines, rebellion and revolution!

Choices! Whats a man to do?

Choices! What’s a man to do?

Cos I’m such a generous guy (not to mention a supremely talented nightgamer (NOT)), I head out to try to help a couple of the of new lair-dudes. All CBD are venues massively overrun by hungry PUAs, but its a good social night, and the new boys are putting in their best efforts to approach, despite some nerves. Good on ’em! At rooftop, beer is cheap and its great to chill with the new guys and talk shop with some of the more experienced dudes. Actually this is how nightgame should be – having fun with everyone and not feeling so much pressure to be opening sets all the time.

Once Rooftop is closing up, the gang heads downstairs to another bar. The place is fucking cranking. The dancefloor is crammed full of drunken nutters, whilst the DJ is busting out some solid beats. Operation: Dance floor game begins. Soon I’m dancing with some Italian bird and it all seems to be going well. I’ve got my hands on her hips, and her body’s pressed against mine. But everytime I go in for kiss, she’s not up for it. Story of my life, particularly with foreign girls. I’m yet to figure out if there’s a way to overcome this. I move on.

At the back of the dancefloor, there’s this nice looking girl with the kind of curly hair that I love, so I let her know she’s got a great 80s haircut. According to a mate, it was on straight away, but I didn’t pick on this, so just started dancing and chatting to her. Soon her friends have wandered off somewhere and its looking like a good opportunity for a cheeky little makeout. ‘I’ve never kissed a girl with an 80s haircut before’ I tell her – she doesn’t give me the go ahead, but she doesn’t object either, so I just go for it. Success.

Lately I’ve been trying to present myself to girls as a player who its ok to be sexually open with (as a opposed to someone that she should date). This is standard operating procedure for SNLs in nightgame, but I wanna extend it to daygame as well. Part of the key to this is how I’m physically escalating with girls. I like to do it overtly, and unashamedly, whilst letting the girl have fun. Here’s an example of how I’ve been trying to do it.

Me: Your haircut is making me feel like I should be taking you to an 80s prom dance. We’d be 18, nervous and awkward. You’re in a nice gown, and I’m wearing a blue suit and too much hair gel.

Her: The suit has to be really bright.

Me: Of course – and a ridiculously wide tie. I hope your dress is going to show off your tits. Do you have nice tits [pull open her jacket to have a look at them]

Her: They’re ok

Me: Its too dark, I can’t tell. I’m just gonna feel them [go ahead without waiting for permission]

I reckon chicks love the boldness of it all and I have lots and lots of fun making a game like that out of escalation. We dance for a bit longer, and next she wants to find her friends. They’re near the door, and the three girls chat whilst I lean back against the wall. On my phone there’s a txt from a friend of mine ‘Where u go?’ I respond ‘Trying to take this girl home. We’ll see’. I didn’t realise but as I was typing that, but she’d come over to stand next to me! ‘I saw what you wrote’ says she. I respond ‘Yep thats what I’m trying to do’. ‘I’m not going home with you!’. ‘That won’t stop me from giving it a shot’. We make out a bit more.

We go somewhere more isolated, and make out some more. I tell her I want to take her home, pour myself a whiskey, push her against a wall, look deep in her eyes, and slowly press my body against hers.

Her: That’s nice. But I’m not going home with you.

Me: I’m going to take your home.

Her: We’ll see who has the strongest will [this is pretty much confirmation she’s gonna come home].

[5 minutes of boring chit chat follows]

Me: Lets leave

Her: I’ll just get my bag and jacket. On the way out she introduces me to her friends (so I know her friends name’s, but not hers. Great). They don’t try to cockblock at all, which is very polite of them indeed. Taxi. Home. Whisky. Fuck.

Overall not a satisfying lay. The sex wasn’t great, and I’ve missed out on the traditional post nightgame feed at China Bar. She sleeps for a bit and then leaves halfway through the night, so I never find out her name (nor phone number). Takeaways:

  • Inane chit chat in the taxi to keep her distracted
  • Don’t be ashamed of wanting to fuck a girl

The submission dynamic

Part of drawing a woman into your world, is letting her submit to you. Most PUAs are aware of dominance in the bedroom, but that’s not (specifically) what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the process by which a girl looks up to you as her leader, and slips into a sheltered and safe mindset in which she can relax and express her femininity. The perfect metaphor for this is man-to-woman dancing – the man leads (practicality, character), allowing the woman to display her beauty and poise (aesthetics, personality). Examples of this dynamic are:

  1. On a date, the girl follows your lead
  2. As you get to know each other, you display your worldly competence, and she looks up to you as someone who ‘gets how the world works’.
  3. She accepts that you have the character to look after not only yourself, but her as well. She begins to trust you with her welfare.
  4. She wants you to fuck her.

The above is a rough chronological outline of the process. Stages will overlap, and of course you can think of other examples – eg. during the initial street stop, you may mini bounce a girl to a less-busy part of the street, so you can hear each other better.

As PUAs looking to get laid, the goal is to get to stage 4, but I won’t talk about that here. That’s what game is for. Stages 1-3 ARE NOT NECESSARY to get laid, but they are a) desirable if you want a mutually affirming relationship with the girl, and b) helpful in getting to stage 4, and c) the difference in pulling 8s to pulling 10s. A girl who looks up to you, feels safe with you, and (of course is attracted to you), is a girl that wants to sleep with you.

It should be clear here that I’m talking about ongoing (not necessarily exclusive) relationships where you get to know each other. This is not necessary for SNLs in clubs, or ‘up for it’ girls off the street.

 So the question becomes – how does one go about achieving the submission dynamic? Some ideas:

  • Get used to making decisions and having people follow you.
  • Become confident. Believe that the world is your oyster, and you have the power to whatever you wish with your life. Learn to bounce back from rejection; it’ll carve you into a man’s man.
  • Become competent. Learn manly skills. Be well read, and learn to link concepts from different disciplines. Get used to people relying on you. Be good at your job and hobbies. Do this because you want to, not because you can use it to pull chicks.
  • Have a plan. Know your place in life, and where you are going with it.
  • On dates, once she has ‘won you over’, take care of her. If she’s put on her tallest heels for you, don’t make her walk all over the city. If she’s wearing a short sexy dress in winter, take her to a cosy pub, not a rooftop bar.
  • Allow her to make decisions occaisionally – eg. ‘Lets get something sweet tonight. Do you feel like frozen yoghurt or hot chocolates’. You let her live in your dimension.
  • Explain to her your understanding of the world, and your life plan. Not in a lecture-y way. Allow her to draw it out of you.

By odinsfortress Posted in Game

Inner game issues

One of my goals this year is to sort out my inner game. I’m not there yet.

Success in such a task is elusive. Most guys in the game learn to approach, develop confidence from an ‘abundance mentality’, and call it good. That was me last year. For the first time in my life, I was regularly banging multiple girls. With four girls on rotation – each and everyone one of them hotter than any girl I’d slept with at any point in my life – of course I was feeling confident.

Naive is me. I’d treated the symptoms, not the cause.

In a matter of weeks, all four girls – for various reasons – dropped out of rotation. I got busy with uni and didn’t have time to approach. As the week’s went by, I had a string of bad dates, which I failed to get anything out of. At the same time, I had an ego investment in being ‘a guy that pulls’. I started to get unsettled – ‘C’mon, I need another lay, where’s it gonna come from’ I’d think, much like an addict who’s run out of crack. I lowered my standards and pulled a couple of times, but it felt like pouring water into a leaky bucket.

To that end, I’ve been working on my inner game. Call it deep inner game. Trying to ferret out those issues that are buried under layers of detritus due to avoiding them in the first place. I’ve found two points that are inhibiting my self-worth.

  1. The belief that I’m not worth having people spend their time on helping me. I tend to suffer my problems in silence, thinking that people would not want to assist me, and that I should sort shit out on my own. Of course such an attitude is not all bad – its taught real self-reliance, but its a self-worth problem.
  2. I have the belief that I’m not an interesting person to talk to. This arose from me being extremely quiet and shy in my younger years. I could never think of something to say to people. If I did have something to say, I’d be cautious about expressing it, out of fear it wouldn’t be taken well.

Mission is to overcome these problems. Likely, other issues exist that I’m not consciously aware of yet. Inner reflection is important.

Right now I’m in another dry patch. But I feel alright about it; I don’t have the sense of urgency to slay new pussy that I had last year.